Genevieve N Syp
Ballerina and sunflowers
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost."
"To love someone is to understand each other,
to laugh together, to smile with your heart and trust one another.
One important thing is to let each other go if you cant do this."
Sunday, November 21, 2010 @ 8:49 PM
I don't know what am I thinking, my mind's in a whirl right now. Thousands of things are running through my mind. I'm just like a human, with feelings, emotionals. I don't know why am I feeling this way. Maybe, I just got affected by the people around me?You know, those hurtful silence. Those tears that are being poured out hurtfully. You know those kind of pain that are inside me for the past 16 years of my life? I bet, none of you knew neither does my parents. I've been reading this book for the past few days and totally, it spelled out my life but not the total story though. Some part of me, God's speaking to me through this story. Telling me whats the process of my teenager's life.
I can never dare to post this out but sometimes, just so when you can't find anyone to talk to, to confront to... You will just blurt everything out in your blog and publish them. Even now, as I reading the book. It gave me a deeper impression not to trust guys, not even those good ones. Sometimes, its just better off trusting yourself and God. Thats all, probably not bestfriend(s) and family too. Practically, everyone's thinking that I'm a joyful girl that always spelled out children and no sadness but no, I'm keeping everything to myself but I know God knows what I'm going through. Those silence, those nightmares, those reality, it just scares me and somehow I told myself that if I ever could, I would want to run away from this place and go to a place where there's no people who knows me and starts afresh (even though I know, technology are getting more advance nowadays).
As I'm typing, as I'm thinking... I just can't type a proper story of whats happening in my mind now because its all messed up. Tearing not just for the sake but, its good to tear once in awhile to make sure that I'm still a human with emotionals. World, you know what? I'm giving up on you. Seriously, everything. Every single tiny little things. God, You are gonna be my only one that I'm gonna trust fully.
To you, I know you won't be able to read this but I just want to tell you that, its been hard loving you but I just want you to know that. Its been great having you around with me most of the times, seeing how you smile and being happy, that makes me happy too. Even though I know all your good friends are mostly ladies, but I just want you to know that you're a great guy. You've been good to me all the time though all those things you have done mislead me to have a greater hope but you know that I can't perserve any longer. Fragile enough to protect myself in getting hurt again because I don't want to get that anymore. If you got chance upon this, please tell me and let me know that you had read this but if you don't know whether am I talking about you in this whole lot of paragraph, do ask me. Last, I just want to say, I do love you all this while even though I don't really show it to you but still, you know I do missed you alot. Thank you for being sucha great brother-in-Christ and yep, obviously you are a great friend but sorry, I got to say I'm gonna give up on you :)
Hi jie, thanks for always being for there for me even through your most busy periods. You're great, you make me felt as though we're real sisters. You make me happy when I'm down, you make me felt a sense of belonging whenever I'm around you. You let me know that, whenever I need someone to vent things on, you'll always be there, 24/7. I really don't know how to thank you but I just want to hug you so badly now and let you know that, no matter what happens, I will be here for you too. Thanks for letting me know, I felt apperciated and being loved by you :) thanks for always putting that wide smile on my face and I want to let you know that, you're the bestest friend of all. Thank you for always trusting me with your secrets and bringing me around to catch "fishes" even though I'm seriously not interested. Thank you for lighting up my world :D
LOVE YOU, SJY! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
是我, 是我选择离开.